Only in comparison...

It's been a rough week. All I can think about is the constant headache I have and the fact that no matter how many (or few) hours of sleep I get, I am always tired. A bad week at school is most certainly the cause of symptoms like this; it's the cure that is a mystery.

I think part of the issue is that students had no school on Wednesday-- this made for a different week, and my kids don't handle change very well. Jerry told me that I was a "bad teacher" today when he didn't understand a question on his test. Tyler told me that I was a "bitch" and that she doesn't care about school, "that's the thing that you just don't understand Ms. G." Ray told me that "you don't understand what it means to have friends" when I asked him to stop talking to his neighbor. Then George chimed in again to let me know that I just don't understand what it's like to be a kid, and that if we could trade places then I would know that teachers aren't cool. I let him know that I was a kid once, but he just didn't seem to think that it was sufficient.

Classroom managment seems impossible at this point, but when I put things in context I start to see that even though things aren't in place yet how they need to be, I have come a long way since this time last year. I remember that it was probably the 4th week of school last year when I got so frustrated with my role that I literally left. Al-Kabir reached in my pocket to steal the keys so that I couldn't call security, and when he touched me I ran out of the classroom, told my case manager that she needed to find coverage for me, and I left the building. I spent an hour walking through little bricks in Newark, crying to my dad on the phone. When I finally decided to go back, I went straight into the office and told the vice principal that I wouldn't be teaching that day- so we spent the rest of the afternoon watching Free Willy. It took myself, my 2 aides (at the time), the case manager, the vice principal, and a security guard to hold the class down through the movie.

Comparatively, I think that I will be able to make it through; but on days like today it seems impossible that I am a teacher, and that I will be able to continue teaching.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just aint never heard a story quite like this one before... you should write more about your mural... It is the talk of the country, from coast to coast. Jill Glassbrook: teacher, activist, enviromentalist, volunteer, vegetarian, friend, and painter! Move over Donatello!

10/01/2006 10:12 AM  
Blogger Mr. King said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one with this bloggering idea... are your classes all self-contained, or do you get to do content specialty or coteaching or similar?

10/03/2006 1:32 AM  

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