Good days Ahead

Back to good times.... for now.

Although my life is chaos right now, I must admit that the teaching thing is going pretty well for the time being. Corey Booker, Newark's mayor, is coming into our school next week to be our "Principal for a Day", so we have been having daily visits from our principal, just for good measure. So far, we have had nothing but compliments. My students have been working cooperatively with one another, responding to their behavior mods, and overall following classroom rules and procedures. This is something that we have only perfected in the morning however, and we continue to show out the bad behaviors in the afternoon, after lunch (which incidentally is when the mayor will be in the school), but I think that we have made some great strides since the break. Honestly, none of this has anything to do with the mayor coming to our school, but it just happens to correspond in such a way that makes it so that the principal is even getting the chance to observe "the bad kids" behaving positively.

Don't get me wrong... we still have our issues, and I am fairly certain that this thing we have going on right now won't last through the hot weather we have coming soon, but for now it is something that we all need.

Spring Break is Over...

My kids were angels on Monday and Tuesday, and then today things flipped back again. I was hoping that the bliss of a new start after the break would help us to reconnect as a class, and Mon and Tues were promising... but today was 5 steps backwards.

We're back to threats again. One of my new students assured us all that he is going to "bring something in tomorrow to take care of all you all!" I am actually very nervous about it, and the administration did next to nothing... they're going to "check" him before school tomorrow, but my only fear is that after school might be too late. I can only immagine the things that are going through his heas to make it seem okay to do this sort of thing.

He saw a classmate with a switch blade in class, and then didn't see ramifications, because that stdent is now being home schooled, menaing that the only time my students see him anymore is when he's outside playing with his friends. Then there is the looming rumor in my room that Jerry sometimes carries a knife to school "just in case." I don't know if this is true or not, but to an extent, it doesn't matter, for the other students in the class it IS true. Then, ofcourse, there's TV, the community, and the news. I don't doubt that this student is already involved with gangs. He throws up signs left and right, talks "street" and has tremendous pride in repeating the word "bloods" whenever he's feeling perturbed. He's 9 years old. Then most recently there's the killings in Virginia. My kids heard about this, and that killer is getting so much media coverage he is like a legend already, and when my kids see that, all they can do is long for that sort of attention.

I also don't want to think about this anymore right now. I'm jst going to cross my fingers and trust that everything is going to be okay forever and ever. Anyone have any positive thoughts for me and my kids?

I told you so.

I've been saying it for a year and a half now... if we don't do something about Ricky, he's going to put a kid in the hospital. I said those exact words as recently as this Monday infact, but no one listens to the teacher because no one else has any answers, and since avoiding problems usually works, that seems to be the tactic that has until today been taken with Ricky. Today, Ricky attacked a kid so bad that he had to be sent to the hospital.

Unprovolked, Ricky attacked a messenger from another class in the eye, repeatedly until I was able to pry them apart. I want to make it known that this is not the type of moment when I feel like screaming "I told you so!", but then I know that I've been telling the Child Study Team, the schools part-time psychologist, Rickys case manager, the administration and his parents for months that Jay was a danger, and then he brought a knife to school... and today, Ricky hurt a kid so bad he was sent to the hospital to get the skin around his eye sewn back on.

I am not going to add any commentary or anything... but I am posting the incident report that accompanied the attack... as always, I changed names, but all the events are the same. I guess I could talk about the situation for a long time, I have a lot of theories as to whhy Ricky did all of this so unprovolked...

Incident Report

Students involved: B.J.
Ricky

Date: March 30, 2007

Location: Room 4-- Time : 1:45pm

Reporting teacher: Ms. G----------

Incident:

Soon after lunch time there was a knock on the classroom door. I answered the door and let B.J. in the room to deliver a note from his teacher, Ms. J. J------. B.J. stood and waited for me to reply to the letter and began talking to one of my students, Tyler . At that time S------ made a comment to B.J. that I did not hear, but noticed that it upset him. My tudents were asking him about a fight that he had gotten into a few days prior. They wanted to hear the "details", but B.J. didn't want to talk about it. S----- and B.J. started to play fight, but not physically because they were not close enough. I asked S---- to be seated, but at that time he made a move as if to attack B.J. , and then the situation became more loud.

At this time, Ricky became very upset and stood up from his seat at the back of the room. He quickly ran towards B.J. , knocking over desks on his way. Ricky approached B.J. from behind, grabbing both of his shoulders and turning B.J.s body towards him, but B.J. automatically grabbed at Ricky, grasping at his shirt. At this point Ricky yelled "Get the fuck off my shirt, man" and started to physically attack B.J. Ricardo repeatedly punched Brandon in the head and face as Ms. C---- and I tried talked to the boys and tried to separate them.

B.J. was trying to cover his head at the same time as he refused to let go of Ricky’s shirt. It was as if B.J. froze, he seemed to be unable to let go of the shirt. However, Ricky refused to stop punching until B.J. would let go of him. I was standing behind Ricky, holding his shoulders, trying to keep him as far away from B.J. as possible, and although he was unable to make full contact with his punches, each time he swung he was hitting B.J. in the face and head.

I counted to three and called “break,” (a tactic I always use in my classroom to break up fights), but B.J. did not let go, so even though Ricky stopped punching for a few seconds, he continued once he saw that B.J. was not following the rules of a "break." Ricky began punching again, yelling for B.J. to let go of his shirt, repeatedly hitting B.J. in the right eye, because the rest of B.J.s face was mostly blocked by the way he was crouched holding himself as far away from Ricky as possible without letting go of his shirt. I was then able to pry Ricky’s shirt out of B.J’s hand, and as soon as Brandon felt that he had been "released," and he ran out of the classroom. I could see that B.J. had been seriously injured, as blood was already running into his hands as he covered his eye and ran down the hallway.

I worked to calm my class as they set the chairs straight. Ricky told the class that he was glad that he had punched him and wished that he had hurt him worse for pulling on his shirt and makin it wrinkled. Ricky then went right back to his seat to do his work, very casually, as if nothing had happened. When I asked him whey he attacked B.J. , he said that it was because he had pulled on his shirt, but then realized that the fight started before that and did not answer any other questions. I did not call security because I felt that anything that might have set Ricky off more would have put B.J. and possibly other children in the classroom in more danger. I instead waited for security to come to my room realizing that B.J. would return to his classroom and get help from there.

About 5 minutes after the end of the incident the building principal came to my classroom and pulled Ricky out.
_______________________________

Besides what is written there the only other information I have (that is not my long winded rants about behavior mods and discipline and theraputic programs that are needed but not in place, and the ways that we are putting young minority boys into situations where they will doubtlessly fail because we are setting them up for prison instead of productive life, etc...) is that the nurse called BJs mom to pick him up to take him straight to the ER. She said that she couldn't get the bleeding in his right eye to stop, and that she wasn't sure what they could do as far as sewing him up because it was all so close to his eye. As for Ricky, he had 3 cuts on his nuckles from punching, and his knuckles were about twice the size they should be from swelling, his middle knuckle was turning black and blue from hitting so hard. He had band-aides and an ice pack, and was extremely calm when I picked him up from the nurse to take him to his bus. Most of the incident he couldn't recall. I think that he "blacked out"... he has always said that when he gets angry all he can see is blackness.

Standardized Testing Take 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5

Today was the last day of NJASK... Finally! I was testing Mon-Wed of last week for my 6th grade students, and then all week this week for 4th grade and I am just HAPPY that if is finally over!

My students have been so stressed out, and so thrown off balance from all of this that I think even they are hoping for things to go back to normal. My 6th graders haven't seen me in the morning all week, and although I give them work that is aligned with our daily routines, we all know that it just hasn't been the same. We will all be very happy to get back to our regular schedules.

I guess that is all that I have to say for now. Yesterday I was so angry that I couldn't get myself to write about testing, and today I am trying not to get angry, so I think I will just end my ramblings here. (well, one more thing I guess, to end on a positive note...) I must admit that I was slightly less frustrated by the questions and the set-up for the 4th grade tests than I felt about the 6th grade NJASK, but I still think that high stakes tests can never tell us all the miraculous things that they need to in order to ensure that "no child is left behind"...

Manifestation Determination and more...

This is an update about Jay...

Last Wednesday Jay was taken in hand-cuffs by the police down to the police station. There they decided that all charges were pending depending on the parent's next steps. His group therapist for whom he attends therapy 5 days a week, reccommended that he go directly to the ER. Mom followed through and Jay was admitted to the hospital where he had been until today when he was discharged.

The behavior analysis that was done of Jay diagnosed him as emotionally disturbed, ADHD, having post-tramatic stress disorder (PTSD), and having behavior disability.

I learned all of this at a Manifestation Determination meeting. These meetings are held anytime there is a student who needs to be suspended more than 2 times in a school year for a period exceeding 10 days. Jay had already been suspended twice this year, before the knife incident. It is assumed that anytime there is a student in a situation where they need to be suspended that much, they may be in the wrong setting, or their individualized education is being comprimised. I have been saying for months now that this is the wrong setting for Jay. He needs a more theraputic componant, with a more restrictive environment, year-round schooling, and possibly a personal aide. No one listened until now, until there was a serious possibility that someone was going to get hurt. I guess the good thing is that something is finally being done, and luckily no one did get hurt.

Anyway, at the Manifestation Determination I was able to officially request a new placement for Jay, that had the signatures of the case manager and his school psychologist from last year-- so basically that means that I had some backing behind my reccomendations.

During ths meeting I was paged to the main office by the principal. I let them know I was busy, but they still requested that I come down to speak with the principal immediately after the meeting was over. When I got down there she told me that she would be providing coverage for me for the afternoon and that I should be prepared to attend the Superintendants Hearing that would be happening to discuss and determine next steps regarding Jay's incident. This was a little shocking, but I did what I needed to do to prepare things for my students to have work to do without me in the afternoon, and then rushed over to attend the meeting.

[I did really good. I know my kids, their classifications, their IEPs in and out, (afterall, I am the main author of these IEPs) and so any question they had about anything having to do with Jay in school I had covered. After the meeting the Vice-Superintendant pulled me to the side to tell me that she was impressed with my handling of the meeting. My principal took the opportunity to show me off, "and she's only a second-year teacher" and I was then invited to a upcoming principals meeting with a focus on Special Education.]

Anyway, back to the important thing... Jay. It was determined that he was going to be suspended for an additional 5 days, during which time he will be admitted into school to do the standardized testing. I interviened at this time, saying that for his safety, and that of my other students, it may not be a good idea to put him back into my classroom this soon. Jay's mother agreed, and we made alternate arrangements for him to test at another of the public schools nearby. (I don't want to go on too much about this testing situation, because I think testing is stupid.) Then Jay has a 45 day interim education program. He has the option of attending a day-program provided by a hospital in Union, a nearby suburb of Newark, or to have in-home one-on-one instruction. After the 45 days, Jay's new IEP will take effect, and he should be placed into a new program that will better suit his needs.

I think those are pretty much all the updates I have about the Jay thing... I think most of my concerns were addressed in the Hearing. Jay's mom brought a legal advocate, which was a little intimidating. The advocate seemed to be attacking me left and right, but I felt reassured by the end of the meeting that I did do the right thing durint the incident, and also throughout the past year and a half when I have had Jay as a student. I was able to show that I have been following through wth all behavior modification plans, been in contact with his therapist, have reached out to his mother, and have put forth all efforts on my part to try to ensure the best environment for Jay.

Standardized Testing Take 1

Today was the final day of NJASK6.

Monday went well, it was a 2 part literacy selection. The first segment was a persuasive writing piece, which I must say that my kids kicked ass on... then a reading selection- informational text followed by multiple choice and open-ended questions. My kids weren't rockin' that quite to the same extreme, but considering it was a 6th grade selection, and my students are performing at about a 3.5 grade level, they did pretty well, if I do say-so myself. Overall time testing was about 135 minutes, with one break in the middle. I was so proud I wanted to cry.

Tuesday began the excruciating painfulness of the testing experience... a 3 part literacy selection; first reading, then another persuasive writing piece, then reading again. Total testing time was 225 min with 2 breaks in between. HELL. The first reading piece went okay, again, their levels are much lower then the reading they are required to do, but overall they used the strategies they have been learning all year, and did their best. By the time they got to the writing prompt they had used up every last ounce of energy they had left on focusing to read something way over their heads and began to feel frustrated. Still, they did well, and wrote convincing essays to the hypothetical principal who is continually infringing on their rights. (Inevitably this is the topic of every persuasive writing piece any child in New Jersey is required to write for any and all state assessments.) Then, when we had to return to the reading selection, which was no doubt racist and slanted, they lost control. Jerry began peeling off tiny slivers of paper from his test book to ball up and throw at Ray. Of course Ray was so busy telling the new kid that his momma was a "crack-baby" that he couldn't figure out what kept hitting him in the back of the head. I ended up having to have the principal come up and help babysit for the last 50 minutes of that testing round.

[I have to put in just a quick blurb about the how unfair these test are... 1. my special ed students are asked to perform just as well as their regular ed peers on the same test, even though they are classified because they are unable to perform on grade-level. 2. These high-staked tests are long, and unbearable even for people with a lot of patience, like myself. 3. These tests are manufactured to put white suburban kids at an advantage, and I refuse to back down from that position. For example... in the reading piece about a mountain climber, when they described how the climber felt, there was a quote that read, "I'm psyched" and a footnote that described that "psyched" is a term used to describe a feeling of excitement. This was the only footnote used in the text. My students use the word "psyched" all the time. They are always "psyched" about something. However, my students have never seen a mountain. They have never been climbing, or even seen a climbing wall because they have never left Newark, NJ. My students have never seen a harness, or even heard of one, let alone a clamp or a caribeaner, or any other tool that is used for climbing, yet they are supposed to "infer from the text" what all those things are when the little white 6th grader sitting up in Suburban Elite White School gets a definition for the word "psyched"? The tests are unfair. 4. there are 10 billion better ways to test student growth and school achievement, but standardized testing is not one of them.]

Then there was today; the math section. 213 minutes worth of testing broken into 3 sections that get progressively harder. From the start my students were dragging. They were not happy about a third day of testing, and overwhelmingly aware that they had missed their specials classes (art, gym, etc) for 2 days now. Needless to say, they were very unhappy about the circumstances, couldn't focus on the test, and did not do their best. This was not because they didn't know how to do the math, or at least most of the math, but rather because they were stressed and frustrated, and tired of testing.

I hated today. I was so exhausted I wanted to cry. I am glad it is over. I am glad that I get to go back to teaching tomorrow rather than being a "chief examiner" for a test I don't believe in and happen to have moral qualms about. I am proud that my kids made it through these last few painful days, and even though I can honestly say they didn't do their best today, I think that I can also honestly say that considering what this testing is, they DID do their best for the unrealistic expectations put forth by the state.

I am a teacher that refuses to lower my expectations for my students, but when I set those expectations, I always set them making sure that I am not setting up my students to fail. I think that No Child Left Behind, and the States seriously need to think about what they are doing when they set forth unrealistic goals for students who could succeed if we would just give them the chance.

I have 2 days of being a teacher again and then I have to go back to "Chief examiner" for next week, when we will be testing Monday - Friday for NJASk4&5, so I will undoubtedly be back on this thing ranting about the horrible tests they force me to administer.

Jay's got a Knife

Today started just like every other day this week- hell. I was late because the lady I drive to work in the mornings was late, so when she’s late to meet me, I’m late to get to work. Lucky for me, the snow caused everything to be running late, so the buses were, of course, late. As my students started trickling in, I could tell that the walk through Little Bricks last night to talk to Nadia’s grandma had been worth my time. She was going to have a good day. Tyler was going to do her best, Jack was going to need a little refocusing, Sean was a hellian and Ricky was not feeling well, and in his own words “just not in the mood.” Jerry didn’t show when his bus got here, and Tally wasn’t in yet either. Jay was, like usual, trying his hardest to have a conflict with anyone that would drop their guard just for a second.

I noticed immediately that Jay was up to something. He was acting sneaky. He was pulling our newest student Jack over to the side to make an ally. My aide noticed something was up to when Jack said to her “I’m not getting involved with all that,” but then refused to say what “all that” was. I saw Jay slide something into his desk, and huddled other students around him to show what was going on. At this point, I didn’t want to make too much of a fuss about anything, I needed to find out what was going on.

Without actually knowing what was happening, I started to write up the incident report. I didn’t know what was going on, but it didn’t feel right, Jay was disrupting the learning in the classroom, wouldn’t do his work, couldn’t stay seated, and wasn’t his usual talk-back self. He was a whisperer. Quiet and sly. As I sat at my desk, filling out the form when Ray quickly came to my desk, almost looking away from me and said in a low, timid voice, “Ms. G, Jay’s got a knife. I think he’s gonna’ use it,” and then walked away as if he hadn’t said a word. I knew immediately that Ray was right. I wrote it into the incident report, and tried my best to keep the rest of the class calm. By this point most of them had seen the weapon, and now that Jay knew he was busted, all he was focused on was finding out who the “snitch” was. He walked around the room cursing at all the new students, he yelled at Nadia, “I’m gonna’ put you in stitches, just like them bitches!” I told my aide what was going on and had her walk Jay to the main office.

When they were gone my students started talking. Jay also had a fake gun (very realistic) in his desk. He told the others that he brought it to threaten Jerry. I was just thankful that Jerry wasn’t here today. I had the fake gun sent to the office. The police came and searched Jay to find that he not only had the fake gun, but he also had a 5 inch switch blade open in his pants pocket, and an empty clip from a real pistol. The police arrested him, took him out to their car in handcuffs. The most the school can do apparently is a 4 day suspension. (This can't actually be possible, right? Four days is just enough time to stew over the events that happened and want to really hurt someone...)

They will probably have a hearing to see what else they can do, because through the whole thing Jay was threatening people, and continued to say that he was just trying to protect himself. Jay’s mom said that the blade came from her fiancé, and that last night it was on the bed, and then they couldn’t find it this morning. Since Jay claimed that Jerry had been the one he was after, and then continued to insist that he Jerry had threatened him first, he will be searched each morning before he is admitted to class.

That's all I have to say right now...

I hate my job...

Incase any of you were wondering... I hate my job. I hate that I have a practically new set of kids and almost nothing to work with. I hate that my students don't want to learn anymore, and I hate all the bueracratic BS that makes it so that all the BD kids in the district are being shuffled into my classroom at the same time. I hate that I had an observation today, and that I didn't get to teach any of my academic lessons because behavior was so bad. I hate that I have to send home nightly behavior reports, and I hate myself for not having the energy to call parents tonight.

I hate that I don't feel stable enough to get my life back in control, and that I am getting myself so upset about school that I haven't really been dealing with my personal issues for the past few months. Mostly though, today I just hate my job.

New Students

They keep sending me new kids. It's 2 weeks away from standardized testing, and they just keep plopping them in my room. I officially have 9 students now, and by law I top off at 10 as a teacher of BD students. Two weeks ago I got a new student, last Friday I got another one, and I was told yesterday by a BD teacher at another Newark school that he just signed all the paperwork to send another kid to me.

My new ones are:

Sean, a 4th grader who is much smaller than all of my other students, but has the best social skills of any of my kids.

Then there's Nadia, another 4th grader, and a GIRL! My students don't have a lot of interactions with female students, and don't generally know how to handle those interactions when they do happen... so she's already caused a huge stir in the room, besides that puts her in competition with the only other girl in my classroom, Tyler.

And tomorrow, it is rumored that I will be getting a 6th grade boy who has been home-schooled by his Aunt for the past 6 months because he had too many conflicts to keep him in a classroom. I try my best not to be swayed by what I hear before a student arrives, but I hear what I hear.

I do not have any IEPs for my new students, nor any other pertinent information.

My room is starting to fall apart already with the two new students. Tuesday was my first REALLY bad day in a long time, and today was a staff development day, but I just hope that I can get my classroom management together enough to allow these changes to move my students forward, rather than shove them behind.

New students lead to new challenges, and I have a lot of them ahead of me.

De Colores

Jerry said "you teachers are always trying to make things colorful and make us draw pictures because you think that us special ed kids are stupid or something." in September of this school year. I had Jerry all last year for 5th grade, and he returned to me this year as a 6th grader. This is a direct quote too, because I was so intrigued that I wrote it down immediately.

I tried to explain to Jerry, and the rest of the class that I do use bright colors intentionally, but that it is actually because I think that they are VERY smart, and I think that the bright colors help them to recall information, and they can use the colors as parts of strategies for remembering and learning new things. I also explained that pictures are a really good tool to use, especially in math.

Jerry, at the time, didn't buy into it. He insisted that I thought he and his classmates were stupid.

Today I heard Jerry, (who has taken it upon himself to show our new student, a 4th grader, how things work in Bad Wolf Territory) explained that the colors around the room are coordinated to subject area, and that can help to remember what folder to look in if you get stuck on a problem on the exit ticket. Jerry explained that every day I put up 2 math problems (we have notes on that in the Red folders), then 2 literacy questions (in the blue section of the room), and then one question that will be either social studies (yellow) or science (green). Jerry described it so matter-of-factly. I could tell that he was using some of the strategies that I have been trying to teach all year.

I realize that this seems like a very simple thing to understand, but really the idea that we use color-coded binders and folders is something that has taken a long time to embed in my students. Occasionally I will still find a blue literacy notebook thrown in the red bin with the math work. The color-systems create structures for my students that they can begin to understand, and then hopefully use for categorizing their lives and their thinking.

Sometimes I hear them referring to things by the colors I use, for example, Rick was trying to remember the definition of "physics" and when Jay suggested the wrong answer, Rick said, "no, that's not right, it's the one that she wrote up in green." Brilliant, I thought.

A new start

Summer is officially over. Completely over. Tomorrow is a mandatory in-service day, as is Wednesday, and then Thursday it's back to school. I will be a teacher again.

This summer I did a lot of nothing-- I was not nearly as productive as I had hoped to be, but I think that this is a reoccurring theme in my life, so I am not all that shocked at the fact that I didn't do all of the amazing things I had planned. I did do a few of them, so that's a start.

I did go to a science workshop for a week. That was good. And then, for 3 weeks I worked at a YMCA summer camp as a "science specialist", which meant that I taught science lessons and experiments to 4th-6th graders in the morning and afternoons at "science camp". This was MUCH different from school, mostly because it was at a camp, but the other differences were still plentiful. Basically, the kids at science camp like science, and that is why their parents were being charged exorbinant amounts of money to send their children to this hoity-toity camp, whereas school is not only requred by law, but also free and a source of nourishment for inner-city kids.

(One of my students from North Philly (when I taught summer school last summer) was at the camp-- apparantly he had been sent to live with his Aunt for the summer, so she sent him to science camp... weird coinsidence.)

I created a mural this summer- something my friend Kelli calls an "installation piece". I did a sea-scape on the garage beside the pool of a co-worker, so when I take my students on field trips to the pool they get to see my art- that is always a good glimpse into my life for them because in the mind of a child, a teacher is not human at all. Any chance I get to make my students see me as a person, I take advantage of it.

I traveled a little this summer- I found myself in New Jersey (of course), Michigan, Upstate New York, Tennessee, Indiana, and Florida.

Besides that I took 2 field trips with students this summer, moved to a new apartment, and read a few good books this summer. That's it... that's my summer in a few hundred words. It all comes down to those few things, and that was my whole break.

Year one complete...

My first year of teaching is officially over! Yay for me!

The last day was weird, my kids were really good, even though their behavior was pretty much awful for the rest of the week... I think that it finally hit them that they weren't going to see me for a while. I am leaving town for a while and they all continually asked me if I was going to come back and if I would see them this summer. I assured them that I was only going to be away for a few weeks. I also made a deal with them... Once they finish half of their summer homework pack I will take them on a field trip. And then again, when they finish all of the work I will take them out again. I actually think that they will do it, and they all seemed excited about the work I put together for them! (I was actually very proud of my summer homework packet...)

More later, now it's time to relax!

No, I'm not in 8th grade

I was mistake for an 8th grader yesterday. I was in the girls bathroom on a middle school Newark Public Schools field trip to the Skating rink, when I was asked by a 6th grader, "what school do you go to?" A little befuddled, and thinking that I surely misheard her, I responded, when she said, "oh, I think I know you, you're in 8th grade, right?"

"No, actually, I'm a teacher."

Roller skating was fun, a good use of one of the last days of school. I am getting anxious for tomorrow to come and go-- I have so much to get done before then... There are a million things that have to be complete and my students are just so off the wall and crazy right now that it seems impossible to get anything accomplished! I am so frustrated with my aide that I think that we would get more work don't if we weren't working in the same room with one another, even though all of the work is in one classroom. She is driving me crazy, and she has all year, and rumor has it she is being placed with me again next year-- yikes!

Well, here's to the last day of school... The last day of my first year teaching... The last of a lot... But more importantly, here's to the first day of summer!

Ghetto Pigeons

Over the weekend I took a couple of my students on a field trip to the Statue of Liberty.

While we were eating lunch, Amber threw a french fry-- and that's when all the fun started! Seagulls and pigeons flocked towards us, screeching and cawing, pecking at the food on the table. Amber was screaming, and Jerry was trying his hardest not to let his laughter turn to screams. He likes to seem tough, but he didn't look so tough as he darted from the table trying to escape the attack! I stood, scared out of my mind (I have a fear of birds) trying to play it cool-- shooing them away with my hat and repeating "go away birds, get away from out food!" This is a phrase that I don't think I will ever live down, because my kids heard it so many times they repeated it throughout the day.

Seagulls are much more daring than pigeons at the Statue of Liberty. They go straight for food, scaring away humans, to get to their plates. Pigeons on the other hand seem much more patient, waiting for dropped food, and then rushing in to get it; trying to beat the seagulls to eat the dropped crumb of food. Amber noticed this right away, pointing, and telling me, "look at that pigeon right there! Ha! He thinks he's a seagull or something! That pigeons trying to be ghetto like the seagulls!"

It was so funny, I couldn't help but laugh, and I was actually really proud of her for noticing small details about the birds.

Today when we got to school we walked up the four gigantic flights of stairs to the classroom only to find all of the other 5th graders standing out in the hallway chasing a pigeon down the corridor. The kids were screaming and yelling, and as I rushed my students into our classroom, trying to keep them away from the potentially behavior-triggering situation, I closed my classroom door only to hear Amber let out a high-pitched scream followed immediately by Ricks mischievous laughter.

"Look Ms. G, we got pigeons!" Tyler shouted, and sure enough... pigeons! Two of them. I called for the custodial staff, but they were busy with the 3 pegeons that were in the 4th floor hallway, the one in the boys bathroom, and another couple of birds in the teachers room. Amber looked to me and said "go away birds, get out of my classroom, right Ms. G?" (hinting to my reaction at the Statue of Liberty) I laughed with her, but only for a few seconds because just then both pigeons started flying in our direction. "Those pigeons is ghetto, they must thing they seagulls or something," she said again.

45 minutes, 10 piles of pigeon droppings, 3 pigeons, 2 students, and 1 custodial staff later, we got the birds out of the classroom and began our math final exam.

Awards Ceremony

We had an unannounced awards ceremony this afternoon, which I was pretty frustrated about because I had a lot to get through with my students today, but as it tends to be, most teachers have stopped teaching this year, so they don't seem to think that surprises should inturrupt anyone's teaching schedule.

Anyway, I won the big award, which was really surprising. I got "Novice teacher of the Year." They even gave me a plaque with my name inscribed! Jerry called it before they awarded it to me-- he looked at me and said "this one is yours Ms. G!" I shook my head at him to let him know that it wasn't fo me... but then they called my name.

When we got back to the class Amber asked, "Well, are you going to leave it here and hang it in the classroom?"

"No, I don't want it to get ruined or broken, I think I'll take it home," I responded.

And then Jerry said, "That's a good idea Ms. G, you earned that."

I'll shoot all ya'all in 401

I had a pretty normal day today, but there were a few things that just leave me unsettled...

The unusual parts came from outside of my classroom. As a teacher it seems that sometimes your classroom becomes your entire world. Then, when your doors open there is something entirely different outside of them; a school, regular education teachers and students, administrators, and more. There's my principal who refuses to admit that she is anything but super-woman, and that she really just needs some help someties to keep things together. And don't forget the self-righteous grade-level partner who thinks that she is the "savior and profit send from God himself to bring salvation to all people" (her actual words, I SWEAR!). Last but certainly not the least of my concerns, there's the students from other classrooms, who begrudgingly threaten and curse room 401 (no coincidence that this happens to be my classroom).

I can't say that I blame other students in the school for disliking my class. For most of the year my students have acted as a posse sent to terrorize the rest of the school; both students and faculty. They destroy others' projects in the hallways, knock on their classroom doors, curse at them in the hallways, trip them in the auditorium, and generally create an environment that is not conducive to anything productive. So, I get why the regular ed. kids don't generally like them. I even understand why I get the 'look-of-death' from other classroom teachers when I walk through the halls. I mean, I wish that other teachers and students could understand a little better that my classroom and my students have a very specific set of needs that our school and administration just are not ready to help effectively, but thats not to say that I don't understand their frustrations with 401. I just want them to know that as bad as it seems in 401, we really are making great strides, but I don't think that this will happen anytime soon, so until then I guess I will just have to deal with it.

Anyway, the entire point of this rant is to stress my frustration level with the fact that a 6th grade student, Remi, threatened Tyler today, saying that he was going to "shoot" her. When my other students retalliated with threats of juming him and what not, Remi announced; "you better watch out, I'm gonna come down there and shoot all ya'all in 401." I was there when this took place. I heard and saw it.

Remi was in the hall because the office said that they would not take any students today. He had been causing so many problems in the classroom that the teacher couldn't get anything done with him in there, so she sent him out. One of the security guards is on maternity leave, and the other is too old to walk the 4 ancient flights of stairs to get up them, let alone wrestle Remi all the way down them. The crisis teacher was unavailable because he he was dealing with a crisis with 2 students from the 1st-3rd grade behavior disorder class, and the school is 4 aides short of being in compliance, so there was no one to pull to supervise him.

I of course wrote up the incident immediately, but couldn't send it to the principal immediately because my classroom aide was MIA (like usual) and all of my students were too scared to deliver the note, claiming "whenever I talk to her I get in trouble, and I don't need anymore trouble." Lucky for me it was near the end of the day, so when school got out I delivered the note to the principal. This itself was a feat, but even worse was trying to get her to read it. I don't think that she did or will, and she wouldn't discuss the situation with me, or even listen to hear what it was about. She just said to me; "Remi? What does Remi have to do with your class. He should be no where near you or your students, since when was this an issue?"

"Since today, and it is very important that we deal with this right away...." I replied as she walked away and shoved the note in her pocket, without ever hearing about what happened.

Am I a REAL ware-wolf?

Lemme see your hand Ms. G! ...See, you're no ware-wolf!! You don't have the mark of the beast!

Yes, she is a ware-wolf, look at her teeth.

Ms. G, do you like full moons?

Of course she likes full moons, stupid! She's a ware-wolf...

Do you really think she's a ware-wolf? She didn't seem any different to me on 6-6-06.

Yeah, but we didn't see her after school, and she changes so fast, and she has little hairs on her chin, and when she gets mad it looks like her eyes are turning colors or something.

But she looks nice right now, maybe she's only a ware-wolf when it's night time.

You're so dumb! Ha! You don't know anything about ware-wolves at all, do you? Ms. G, lemme see your hand! See, there is no mark, if you were a real ware-wolf you would have a mark!

She does have a mark, just look closer...

I don't see anything!

I know that you're not a ware-wolf because if you were you would've eaten us all by now... You're not a ware-wolf, for real, are you... Ms. G??

"I'm not getting into this one, it's up to you to decide."

What does she mean?? I mean, she's not REALLY a ware-wolf, right??

Parents

"Hi, This is Ms. G from school, Jorge's teacher, is this his stepfather?.... Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine, but I have some unsettling news about Jorge's behavior.... oh, yes, I realize that he has come a long way this year... yes, but that still doesn't excuse his recent behavior....."

"Hi, is this Tyler's mother?... yes, umm, this is her teacher, Ms. G.... Well, yes, I DO have some bad news for you... Well, this time .... Yes, she DID say that to me"

"Hello, this is Ms. G, Jay's teacher, can I please speak with your grandma?......{click} .... Hello? Hello? (did he just hang up on me?)"

Teaching is hard. Calling parents can be harder.

{{ yes!! your kid did that! he has been doing it all year, and i have a feeling that he is not going to stop unless we do something about it! }}

No one ever has a child that does something wrong, and if they do, they don't want to hear the details of what happened in school, which is just as frustrating because then you feel as if they are just LETTING their kid get away with anything.

"Well, I just don't understand where she got that language from, because I can assure you that she doesn't use it in MY home!" -- well, sorry to hear that lady, but she must have gotten it somewhere, and she IS using it in my classroom, so what are we going to do about it because I am sick and tired of YOUR little brat cussing me out!

"But he's not a fighter, I just don't understand why he's always in so much trouble, my son is not a fighter" -- when was the last time you saw your son, because the last time I saw him (about 5 minutes ago) he was a fighter, and since I met him, he has been a fighter, so maybe you have a little bit of catching up to do, because ma'am, your son's a fighter!

"But you said that he was doing well!" -- yes, he WAS, that's why I'm calling you.

"She's just not like that usually, she's an angel" -- I'm sure that it was her angelic smile that got her placed in a Behavior Disorders classroom and got her classified as emotionally disturbed, I mean, you can't honestly continue to tell me that she is perfect, we will never be able to help her if we can't admit that she needs help.

'YES, I kinda knew that she would have a rough day today, I mean she left the house upset this morning, and I tried to tell her that she had to get her attitude in check before she went into the school.... yes, I understand, but you know, I try my best, but I just didn't get up early enough in the morning to make her pancakes, so she had to have cereal, and that's just not what she wanted.... and I'm really sorry about all of this..." -- You're kidding, right? Most of the kids in this school don't have food at home at all, they come to school hungryand wouldn't have any nurishment at all if it weren't for the school, and your kid is terrorizing the school because you didn't have time to make her some pancakes? Who the hell ARE you?

"No, no, he needs to stay in the behavior disorders classroom, he is progressing so much, and he is doing much better this year... We would like him to stay in your class..." -- If he is doing so much better now, I would HATE to see what he was like before because your child is a little hell-raiser!! I mean... Great!! Can't wait to have him again next year, he's been such a joy to work with!

Basically, if you couldn't tell... I feel frustrated, and I don't want to call another parent in my life, but as we all know, I will continue to call.

Sweaty Kids are Smelly Kids

My school is so hot I can still feel the sweat roll down my spine by just thinking about having to go back in that building tomorrow. The fourth floor = the sauna. I like to think that this is all a part of my "lifestyle change," but it's hard to believe that when I'm climbing all 97 stairs. It can't be a good idea to sweat out every last morsel of your energy before the bell even rings when you are supposed to be a teacher. Stale air and smelly kids, combined with a generalized hatred/fear of learning make school a very hard place to be at... But the good news is that tomorrow is "Fun Day!"

As it seems, every day for the past 2 weeks has been themed:

Mon: Movie Day (Akeelah and the Bee)
Tues: Field Trip Day (holocaust Play)
Wed: Spelling Bee Day (Akeelah Style)
Thur: Career Day (Go Army National Guard, Recruit ''em real young!)
Fri: America Day (God Bless)
Mon: Memorial Day (= Beach Day for me!)
Tues: Finally take a seat, sweat on yourself, and get to work Day
Wed: Workshop Day for me (= Torture the sub Day for students)
Thur: Ice Cream Awards Day (I heart ice cream)
Fri: Fun Day! (= sweat on the asphalt errr... I mean "playground")

This seems to make the end of the school year move a little faster-- and makes the students a little more motivated, for the most part anyway.

I can't wait until Monday comes around again, I think it might be "Gather around the Fan at the Circle Table Day."

A good day...

I had a good day at work today, and since I don't get to say that very often, I thought that I should write it down. This way, I can remember that things aren't always awful in the life of a teacher.

It was kinda strange even... they were all so calm. No one in my class really wanted to do any work, but they didn't mind the learning part of things. I usually struggle teaching any sort of lesson, because they are so out-of-control, and I have to do everything with each student individually, but today as I explained to my kids how the tide is the sea rising and falling as the earth rotates, they listened. They even got up and helped me demonstrate how the earth rotates, and every one of them used the magnets I gave them to feel what the gravitational pull of the moon is like. They were really into it. As I held a globe up in the air bearing my sweaty pits, I rotated it on it's axis as Ricardo held the styrofoam moon in one place and Jay held his hand as though it were the sun. At the end of the lesson they were all able to explain to me exactly how the tide works, and even Amber shouted out answers when I asked questions. (She usually sits silently, with a lot of attitude, until she has a violent outburst).

Then, at lunch time they all begged me to sit at their table instead of going back up to the classroom. I haven't eaten with them since my last post, and I didn't eat with them today either, (just because the food smelled like ass and I didn't think I could bear it combined with the stench of 11 year-olds that just got out of gym...) I figure I'll invite them to eat with me tomorrow. The strangest part about this invitation though is that it was Amber that said, "Ms. G, aren't you going to stay and eat with us?? You can sit here."

It was overall a pretty good day in 401.